Russia hosts the Olympics
by OlinaPasta
Summary: The world countries are ready to compete in the winter Olympics, some are nervous, America isn't. And what's with Germany's uniforms? And was that stumble with the snowflake Olympics rings really just an accident? Since Russia is hosting them this year, the world can expect weirdness… lots of weirdness, but as long as the competition doesn't get too fierce – it'll work out
1. Not invited

Sealand ran frantically over the docks of his country, stopping here and there to fix certain problems that came from living on a 1.5 square mile micro nation built on two cylindrical cement pillars.

"I'll show them! I'll totally show them!" said Sealand, "Next they'll think twice about not inviting me to the Olympics – I'm going to beat them all at Luge, and skiing, and whatever else! Then they'll have to accept me as a country! Sealand for the win…"

Sealand knew taking a helicopter wouldn't work. He had to bring his whole country and throw his weight around a bit, well, at least get noticed. He'd be there for the opening ceremony, whether the other countries liked it or not.

Some years before, Sealand had enabled his country to move through the water to save the G8. Those bastards had ignored him, but Sealand had been quite proud of that feat. This time would be much harder – to get to Sochi he would have to travel over land, but fortunately Sealand was a better engineer than the others really gave him credit for.

"All right, there we go! Now –" Sealand entered the control room, which was a huge small mess of levers and wires more complex than the inside of a spaceship. Sealand pulled one lever back as far as it would go, and the country shook.

"Engage!" shouted Sealand as his nation rumbled across the ocean floor, in the general direction of the mainland.


	2. Olympic Preparations

"Lithuania, Latvia, Estonia!" came a calm and cheerful voice - Russia. The Baltic countries were no longer Russia's subordinates, but somehow they had wound up here, helping the host country plan his opening ceremony. Why? Vodka was most likely the answer.

Latvia was crying because the lights weren't cooperating at all. Estonia, who had been designing costumes for the ballet, rushed out of the stadium with the excuse of 'making some tea'. Lithuania was surrounded by a lot of papers with math on them.

Russia picked up a few charts that made no sense to anyone but him. "This stadium needs to be bigger, da?" he said simply.

"But if we make it bigger then we'll have to demolish a lot of homes," Lithuania replied. However, Russia was already distracted watching Latvia project the world map on the floor, which spun around to show each country when it would enter.

"Soon they will all become one with mother Russia!" he said, in a jokingly sort of way… hopefully. "It's cool! I think we should have seven floating island, also."

Estonia had returned and was looking up at the Fisht ceiling, where a large conveyor belt would bring in all the major set pieces. "That's actually not a bad idea…"

"Nyet, it's perfect!" said Russia. "We can also do _Swan Lake_!"

Lithuania had a bad feeling about all this, plus he had no idea how he was going to get through all of it in time for the Olympic ceremony. Ah, vodka was most likely the answer.

"Vat ze hell is this?!" Shouted Germany, examining the clothing. "I cannot where this to ze Olympic games! Where are the outfits I had already designed?"

"Please don't be scary again, Mr. Germany!" said Italy, "I gave those to Poland! You need to where these, they are so colorful and delightful and yay! Don't you like them? I made them all by myself, and didn't get any pasta sauce on it!"

_It was a brilliant… but…_

"I – I suppose zey are alright," said Germany, more calmly. The red and orange scarf and the yellow and blue top were actually rather stylish. "Color never hurt anyone… but I just don't vant anyone getting ze wrong idea."

"You don't have to worry!" Italy was delighted that Germany thought they were okay. "Besides, they are not as bad as USA's sweaters."

"Hey!" said USA loudly, and held up his star-and stripes sweater. "These totally show  
everything about American pride!"

"I think they are too overdone," came a quiet voice. Only Japan heard the voice but he didn't see anyone.

"Ah, they still don't notice me, but they will when I defeat them at slope style."

"Who are you?"

"I'm Canada."


	3. Something felt just slightly off

Iceland awoke shakily in his hotel room in Sochi, ready for another day of training with the Scandinavian club before the opening ceremony began this evening. He had a slightly bad feeling about all of this… but Russia was is his friend, why should he be afraid? Anyway, it was already five-thirty AM and he was late.

Letting Mr. Puffin sleep, he left downstairs to the lobby, where Norway, Sweden, and Finland were waiting

"Hello, little brother," chorused Norway and Finland. Sweden glanced up from the newspaper he was reading, making Iceland shiver slightly, but he didn't say anything.

"Sleep well?"

"No," Iceland admitted, "The bed was uncomfortable."

"Ya, I don't know about this hotel, but it could be worse, I suppose," said Finland, "Anyway Denmark is outside already, let's go, ok."

The countries pulled on their coats and were about to leave when Britain entered the lobby, cursing about an elevator.

"Opened to an empty shaft, effing bloody thing, what wanker designed this place?"

Iceland traded glances with the other countries when they all heard a crash from upstairs. A few moments later, America arrived.

"Dudes! Hey I just, like, got stuck in the bathroom but because I'm like, the hero, I smashed a hole through the door! This place is crazy!"

"It isn't exactly five star, is it?"

Leaving their hotel, they met up with drunk-as-usual Denmark falling off of his skis. But before they were able to say anything, there was a loud crash coming from one of the nearby mountains.

A moment later, it wasn't there anymore

"Hellooooooo countries! Hello Sweden! It's me, Sealand, and I hope you're ready to get your asses kicked because I am ready to do just that!"

The fort of Sealand rumbled through Sochi, knocking over the slightly shabby hotel and nearly killing Austria, who was nearby.

"Just vhat does he think he is doing?"

"I'M JOINING THE OLYMPICS OF COURSE! AND I BROUGHT MY SNOWBOARD!" For a small country, Sealand's voice was surprisingly loud.

The micronation jumped off the fort, landing underneath it in on the grass.

Some of the other countries began to laugh, and Sealand's smile faded. Turning to Iceland, he asked, "C'mon, Ice, tell them, can't I be in the Olympics?"

Iceland hesitated. "Hmm… I suppose if he really wants to… I don't see any harm in it."

_He isn't even qualified! _Thought Britain, but it wasn't as if Sealand would win any medals anyway, so he shrugged and agreed with Iceland. Sealand pumped his fist in the air.

"Alright, totally awesome! Now all I need to do is get my flag and inform –"


	4. Russia and Ramen noodles

"RUSSIA!" shrieked Italy, bursting into Japan's apartment, "Russia killed Germany! I lost my white flag! Help me!"

Japan, startled, dropped the Sudoku he was working on. "Where did you get that crazy idea?" he asked quietly.

Italy was hysterical and was running around everywhere. "I saw Germany near the Fisht stadium eating wurst but he didn't have any pasta so I wandered off to find some and when I returned he was gone but I found this!"

Italy held up Germany's scarf.

"I – really do not think you can count that as evidence," said Japan, "Russia may be scary, but he is no longer the Soviet Union. Like Doitsu says, the past is the past."

Italy was still sobbing and shaking all over so Japan went into the tiny kitchen and made him some ramen. It wasn't exactly delicious pasta but it calmed him down enough, and he relaxed a bit as he munched the noodles.

"He most likely went off to practice his shooting skills for the biathlon. We can go look for him if you like."

"Okay!" said Italy, and they left down the stairs, but hadn't made it to the ground floor when they were met with none other than a worried looking Lithuania. Before Italy of Japan could say anything, he pushed the large stack of papers he was holding at Italy

"Take this please!" He whispered, then ran back downstairs and outside. What was that about?

"Ooh, these have some strange Russian math on them!" said Italy loudly, showing Japan the papers.

"It is just normal math, and some of it looks like blueprints for the different stadiums, here's the ice cube –" Japan and Italy quieted when they heard some footsteps below them and a voice that sounded like Russia. A moment afterwards, Romano dashed up the stairs and hid behind Japan.

"He's scary, dammit! I don't care where his stupid papers went, why is he asking me?"

Italy stared at his brother and then at the 'stupid papers' in his hands. "I know what to do!" he laughed, and tossed them all out of the window, where they landed on France's head. I split second later, Russia climbed up the stairs two at a time and met them on the landing, and Italy tried to hide behind Japan. Behind Romano.

"_You're doing to give me away, dammit!"_

_ "_You should be quiet now, okay?"

"Go jump out the window yourself, you wine-loving bastard!"

"I don't want to be by myself Romano!"

"Shut it!"

Russia pretended not to notice the Macaroni brothers fighting behind the small Japanese nation. He asked Japan if he had seen Lithuania anywhere, or the Olympics blueprints.

Japan was much less afraid of Russia than many of the other countries, and saw him as odd, but not cruel. Nodding, he told him Lithuania was outside somewhere and the papers where out the window. However, he kept himself and what Lithuania had said out of it.

"Why did you tell him all that?" complained Romano, after Russia had safely left the building. "That jerk might have been trying to give us a hint! Why else would he give us whatever he was giving us!"

Japan sighed. The Olympic Games were supposed to be a time of global friendship; why was everybody so distrustful of each other?

"Très irrespectueux!" said France, looking up at the window, "Vy vould someone just throw their trash out ze window like zat!"

As France brushed his fingers through his lovely blond hair, he tossed the paper stuff in a nearby bin and forgot about them.


End file.
